Cigarettes Are Not Candy Bars

I stopped smoking at the end of August, 2009. I think it was to get ready for my new Trikke. I had wanted to quit for a long time but I just couldn't. I was waiting for that special time which comes to me every few years. It's like I get a break. I can quit smoking and have no cravings, dreams or setbacks. It is only during this window of opportunity that it happens. And it happened at the end of last August.

It is something I don't talk about or tell people. Why? It is a really BIG thing, after all. I guess because I wasn't driven up a wall, or paced a room, or had to call a friend. It was easy. It was nothing. Like changing from milk to dark chocolate.

Cigarettes are not candy bars. I think if I didn't have sugar every day I'd be blogging on the ceiling. So this is why I don't brag about quitting smoking. Believe me, the world will know when I beat my sugar addiction!

The "King" of the beasts

When all is right with the world

Be Careful, It's a Trap

Starting Weak Three

I know there's a typo in the headline, but really it's just a pun. This marks the beginning of week three, and I am where I was two weeks ago. I still think there's hope. I haven't given up on myself yet. After all I do quite a bit of exercising. I just haven't hit that mark of burning more calories than I waddle off.

So I started off with some goals that I haven't accomplished, like writing down everything I eat or cutting down to ONE serving of junk food a day. All I have to do is recommit. After all, I am worth the trouble. And if I am doing this weight thing slowly, I really might overlook say the 2-3 pounds I might have lost. So maybe it's too soon to think I'm not on the right path.

Oh, there is one thing to consider while judging me weak-willed, I did stop smoking 5 months ago! So look at me world!! I am powerful and I accept changes with confidence and ease!

Sugar -- oh how I luv ya!

I just can't stop eating sugar. I love sugar. I love candy bars and cookies and even catsup, a combination of the best things -- veggie and sugar! Actually the best things together are sugar and fats, but I'm trying to turn a new leaf so if you can get nutrition and sugar, well, what is more perfect than that?

The sad part is that sugar will be the death of me if I continue on this path. I have diabetes and I still can't control my sugar consumption. I stopped eating candy bars and now eat protein bars that are quite good, and good for me. They are full of protein and vitamins and minerals, all that quality stuff. I just had a thought -- candied tomatoes! Zucchini donuts! Broccoli with brown sugar and cinnamon! Ok, I'll admit I've gone too far. I still think that protein bars are better for me than a snickers bar. Can you see it too?

This is the one thing I need to stop if I want to lose the extra person I carry strapped to my back. Bananas are almost sweet enough. Dried pineapple or dates really meet my need. So, just like a junkie I will skulk off into the dark, hoping no one will see me, and stock up!!

O-U-C-H!!

Where is Dr. Oz when I need him? Ok, I'm on my new food plan, and I have realized that according to the scale, there was nothing new about it. So, I weighed in on two different scales, and the first one was right. I hope it was right, or do I want it to be wrong? This is where twisted logic comes from. Ok, well, anyway.

I weighted in originally at 265 and it was at a Dr's office. And now one week into my plan and I weigh 10 pounds MORE!?!?!?!? I was so surprised last night I couldn't log in. Do I really have to record that? I'll record it with an asterisk. And please don't forget this.

So I'm not starting over but continuing onward. As long as I'm stumbling forward, there is still forward motion. After all, I can't have believed if I had done really well I'd have lost every pound already. It took a long time to gain this weight... and all those other cliches.

So if I have learned anything from my first week it is to write down every bite! Second thing is to burn more calories than I take in, and that is accomplished by getting on my Trikke to CARVE!

Week Two Starts

Here begins week two and as I look back on week one I must say I did well. My sweatpants are slipping down my waist, hanging down closer to my hips. I can feel the bones about my collar also. I'm not saying I've lost a lot of weight, I just feel differently.

Then at day five and six, well let's just say I messed up a bit. I promised I wasn't going to be perfect. And I kept my promise with pudding and a cup of light whipped cream.

I keep thinking that I don't have to measure and catalog everything I eat. At the end of week one, I am proven wrong. Even though it's week one, I won't divulge how many week ones I've declared that at. Maybe this will be the last.

Anyway this week I'm starting to include photos and how much I weigh at the bottom of the entry. That is the best and most concrete way of tracking progress.

Here's wishing me less mass!

Lbs. today _275*_ Blurry photo is not a mistake, and the camera will probably be blurry for awhile;(

*my old bathroon scale, which is not even digital

I Couldn't Tell Him

A few years ago I had a silent caller. Once he started calling he kept calling no matter how many times I hung up on him or shouted obscenities. This went on for months, maybe once or twice a week. I tried to block the calls through the phone company but Verizon really couldn't do anything. So I called the police. I was able to get the offender's number from caller ID, so when the young officer arrived I was prepared.

He was a young Asian man with very sharp corners on his pants, shirt and tie. His buttons seemed to sparkle against his perfect black uniform. When he came in he took the phone, sat on the couch, and went to work.

He happened to not only get someone on the phone from my caller, but he also spoke their particular dialect. Finally we got to the bottom of the case. It was a very old man who didn't understand English, and may not have really known what he was doing, so I was promised he wouldn't call again.

I walked the officer to the door and shook his hand thanking him for taking care of my problem. As he turned towards the elevator to leave it was then I saw it... The back of his uniform was grey from all the cat hair he picked up while sitting on my couch.

I Love Feet -- Kitty feet

I am so in love with my kitties' feet. I like to watch them curl up and extend when I scratch them. I like watching them hold onto the couch before springing into action, either after one another or just jumping from furniture to furniture. Some are bony, some are furry and some are big and strong. I love the pads that have no fur, and I like kitties with big feet. And little feet also. I guess I could have a foot fetish, but I don't look at it like that. It's a part of loving every little cell that inhabits their bodies. That's how I feel about my kitties.

I never had kids so this is my tribute to watching something grow from little to great. I love being a part of a little life turned large, like Daisy who I have known since the day she was born, and even before she was born, actually. That is something I have never had, even with my other little loves. Usually you get them a few weeks or months old, which is nice also. But to see that little bundle grow from not much more than an embryo to a girl who plays hard with the other who is three times her size. That is the miracle of life in action.

So if you ever want to put a little smile on your face, look at your pets feet. Whatever size or type

of pet, I know you will smile too.

Photo 1 -- Jake in his "box" pads showing

Photo 2 -- Daisy's paw

Photo 3 -- Willa's furry feet