Account Executive

The old meat guys sweating in their suits
those big belt-buckle sausage necked guys
bark jokes back and forth about their ex-wives peccadillo's.
The cheese sales team, smooth as Velveeta
wear suits dark as bleu, and
sponsor weekends to Vegas for shelf space or end-caps.
I picked up the how-are-you-kiss-kiss-smiley-chatty
at cocktail hour during monthly meetings,
then excused myself for a word with the head tortilla.

My job -- selling advertising space to Barnie's Bagel Dogs,
Budget Gourmet, and Cacique Cheese by phone, for
"Deli" and "Frozen Food" magazines.

My Messages, as effective as blind pigeons,
were left day after day,
mondaytuesdaywednesdaythursdayfriday.

I worked too many deals
to feel like I'd have tenure.
Then finally,
making money off advertising
to Farmer John
made me think
too much
about life...
and death...
and me,
a card carrying
member of
PETA.