Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Intellectually Crushing

I have a crush on a young man who is old enough to be my son. He works in a place I frequent, sorry no clues other than this. He is not cute, but I think he is. He is small and has crooked teeth. He always looks like he just woke up, kind of disheveled, and he looks down a lot. Is he a shoegazer?

I was watching a Bette Davis movie last night and one of her lines was "there is something exquisite about wanting something you will never have". That is how I feel about this boy/man.

I like thinking about him, like what does he read -- if he does read -- or if he likes art, or if he's a good kisser. I think he probably isn't because he's too young to have much experience with "the ladies". But you never know these things until it's too late.

So the other day I was at his place of employment and he was assisting another customer, and when he saw me I noticed he quickly smiled as he turned around, not smiling at me, but smiling because I was there. It was a little smile, one that would have been missed, yet it wasn't. When it was my turn he held my gaze for a longer than normal time. Were we flirting?

I was looking and thinking this when I realized he was just very stoned. So who knows, but it's exquisite just wanting.