Yaaa-Hooo, 20-ten!

There is a lot of speculation going around about what we should call this decade. The 'tween years seem to be approaching like a blizzard and we have the end of the world to contend with in December of 2012 as well.

The promise of a new decade makes me smile. I know it's just a few days later from last year and yet I am thinking about goals for this new year. I get to re-invent myself! What is it about the beginning of January that inspires us to start this trek? I know it's like a clean slate for us all, a new calender without any X's to mark good and bad starts and stops. But doesn't that happen every time we turn the page on our calendars?

So, I'm going to take this global restart date to make some goals, not resolutions, to be a healthier, happier person on this planet. And I plan to spread joy, because we have less than three years before the end of time!
Photo by Randy Boyd

I bought my first hip-hop song

I have been a little nervous about rap and hip hop. This is not unprecedented. I was very afraid of punk then became a huge fan, so anything can happen.

The cherry popping song is from Flo Rida. Funny, it's based on a song from the 80's. It's called "Right round". I loved it before, and I'm loving it now. It's funny how music that stirs me becomes a sort of muse. I haven't posted here for some time and now look, a stray surge of inspiration. I am like a tween, listening to this song over and over again. I want to move, I am moving as I type actually.

Back in the early 80's I used to get up early just to listen to X, the Cars, the Pretenders, among others. I danced around the room back then. Music was better than coffee. It lit up my soul.

I feel that way right now. Maybe because it's juxtaposed against a reaction of depression from a medication I stopped recently. I just want to sleep. And I stopped this medication 3+ days ago.

So I keep playing this song over and over again to support me as I start my day. I'm reminded again of the power of music that sets the stages of our days and holds us up when we are slipping down.
Photo by Randy Boyd

I'm a procrastinator

I have 5 days of dirty dishes in the sink. I keep putting off washing the dishes and now I have no clean spoons or forks or well, knives either. It is at this point that the dishes are piled about two feet high and it's starting to smell of old garbage. I'm noticing small fruit flies. I'm no good on my own.

I have a helper, Angelica, who is on vacation. So, it's up to me. When I do dishes, my back screams for me to sit on my ass. I do have a "condition" that makes my back so vocal, it has something to do with arthritis and fibromyalgia. So Angelica comes almost daily, to help me take are of my details.

I'm also a person who doesn't pay all her bills on payday. I shoot them out a bill a day. I like to think it's so I can hold on to the money for a few more days. It's still spent way before mid-month anyway, I don't know who I'm fooling. I also put off doctor's appointments, blood draws or physical therapy.

Am I sloppy or disorganized? I don't think so. I just know I would rather do things tomorrow, because tomorrow's a better day.

Who's this?

Did you know this woman is walking the streets of Long Beach?Is she wanted? Respected? Does her point of view matter to anyone but herself? Read on and decide for yourself...

As a wise friend once said "I don't see images that reflect me out there, so I create them for myself."

So here we go!

Hello again

Well I am not taking this blog very seriously, it's been weeks since the last post. It has been a whirlwind of stimulus money and ebay packages. My head is still swimming from all the stuff my stimulus money bought for me. Thank you Mr. President!
It's the simple things in life, a couple hundred dollars, ebay and a postal person. What they add up to is magical. It's so sad that it is over. I've stimulated the economy like a good American. Now it's back to strangling pennies.
Money is a strange thing. It is paper that represents so much energy, sweat and tears. It offers comfort and joy. The lack of this energy brings hopelessness and poverty, hunger and fear. Wow, just a simple piece of paper.
But, it's not the paper I want, it's the energy that it brings with it. This intangible is spiritual in nature, isn't it? Can there be a way to subvert this energy, to twist it's flow towards me? If I figure it out I'll let you know -- for a small fee!

I'm Old

The other day I was watching a movie and was shocked at the volume my TV was set at. It was the beginning of the movie when the music is swirling to its crescendo and I was rushing to the volume control.
I remembered every parent, aunt and grandparent who took me to a movie as a child, complained about the volume in the theatre. Every concert that I went to with an older person, there was a complaint about the music being too loud. As a teen, I was always told to "turn the music down".
And now, here I am, complaining about the volume being too loud. It was then that I realized, if I complain about the volume at a movie theatre or in my home -- I might be OLD.

Abundance, prosperity and perspective

The other day I was devastated because I bounced a check. It would cost me $33 for a stupid mistake. I was waiting for a refund to be credited and didn't expect it to take 10 days to get to my account. Then I hit a wrong button on ebay and whoops, I'm overdrawn! But I guess that's why checks bounce, because of stupid mistakes.
All I could think about was that stupid $33, and is it worth a day to be miserable, for $33? No it is not.
It is then that I shifted my perspective. I started looking at all that I get for free, (my health care, my monthly SSDI check) all that is available for free (the beach, the pets, the sunshine). And I am bitching about $33!!
It's like being present at a feast and only focusing on a strawberry that was a bit soft. Or, like listening to the rain outside and getting cranky that the heater is too loud to hear better. It's like being a little brat because I didn't get more when I am already getting more that a lot of folks.
I think this was an "ah-ha" moment.
Later that day, the refund hit my account, that check that bounced will not bounce again, and Yes, I will be more careful in the future to not play "jeopardy" with any of my bank accounts again.
And so it is...

"I use to be..."

I have recently noticed my senior friends repeating these words over and over again, "I use to be..." followed by one of these identifiers; a lawyer's assistant, a swinging single or beautiful.
I showed Sharon (the swinger) a photograph of me at my 30th birthday party. It's my favorite photo of myself, one which I have pasted in the back of my mind as to how I still look today.
Yes, I am the one who use to be beautiful. Back then I thought of beauty as an accessory I wore on occasions like work or a date. It was something I didn't give much value to, because I had it, and because I valued intellect more.
Well, today I value beauty more, maybe because I have the intellect. Is this another instance of the grass being always greener over there?
Oh, and by the way, Sharon has a photo where she looked really beautiful too.