Saturday, January 8, 2011

Procrastination is a dirty word

My middle name is Procrastinator. If I can put a chore off, well, I do. There are so few things in my world that need immediate attention. And so a very bad habit has developed.

And yet this cannot continue. Things are piling up around my ears. If I don't stop procrastinating I will drop into the much scarier world of hoarding.

The prospect of becoming a hoarder has made me more aware of my bad habit of putting everything off. It's a vicious cycle. There is something that is so sad about hoarders. And yet, I am beginning to understand the illness.

It springs from the feeling of "not enough." I can understand the feeling of not enough. I come from that family. I was conditioned to believe there was not enough from an early age. My mother confided in me as a child. "Where are we going to get the money for...?" was a familiar theme. And then she would lite another cigarette.

As an adult, I function under the prospect of not enough. There certainly is not enough money to last a month. And from that, all else springs. With that in mind, I tend to hold onto things I may need in the future. The thing is, I never seem to need exactly what I save.

Now is the time to take that leap of faith. I can let go of some of my unused items. I will be able to provide everything I need. And I have everything I need right now, in this moment.

And so a new goal is born -- winter cleaning!

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